You Still Hurt Me

I look the other way,
I don't want you to see the tears,
I don't want you to see the pain.
You ask my friends what's wrong with me,
They don't know,
They're not my friends.
You should know that.

You look at me,
Just stare at my emotionless expression,
I see the hurt that crosses over your face,
Ever so briefly.
You know what's wrong,
Deep down you know what's wrong with me.
You know that I can't control anything anymore.

You can see that the insanity is slowly eating the inside of me,
You can see my blue eyes slowly turning green,
You can see how I; Kenzie,
Is turning into I; someone else,
And not me,

You can see it so clearly,
Yet you let me suffer by myself,
All alone,
In this world.
Do you care?
Do you really care?

You look away from me so quickly,
As if I was someone so horrible,
But am I?
Because you've made me believe that I am.
You were starting to make me believe that I was truly beautiful,
You were helping me,
And now,
I'm empty again,
Filled with nothing but pain and anguish,
Self hatred.

My chest hurts,
It's because you ripped my heart out,
But you didn't care when you did,
You let every little tiny thing,
Stop your heart from being happy,
And took my happiness with it.
You stole away too many things from me.
Can I have them back please?
No,
I thought you would,
But it's okay that you didn't.
I don't need them,
I guess...

I can't look at you,
I can't think about you,
I can't stop loving you.

I'm pathetic,
I know this already,
But please,
Just let me live,
But you won't let that happen.
Even if you want to,
You won't.
Why?
Because you have my heart,
And you're keeping it,
Without even knowing it,
But I would like it back,
Sometime.
If you could ever give it back.

I'm sorry I'm a nuisance.
I can't really help it.
It's because I grew up with a mother sleeping all the time,
And a father that lived in the basement.
I had to love myself,
And I couldn't.
So I just want some sort of love from you,
But you can't give that to me?
Can you?

I have to look away,
You shouldn't see these tears.
They're not from you,
They're from pain,
In general,
How can you do this to me?
After I gave you so much,
You still hurt me.