October Memories

it's once again.
that time of year.
haunting.
experiencing.
that forever fear.
i can feel you breathing.
next to me.
i can feel the wind.
as it seems to speak.
the more i think.
it all comes back.
the more i obsess.
the more feelings i lack.
if i had the chance.
i'd take it all back.
i know i've moved on.
from the past.
though i cannot move on.
from what we had.
the things i said.
the things i did.
i always won.
in the end.
i never wanted to win.
in the sense of torture.
i wanted to forget.
but i could never forgive.
you don't treat someone you love.
like a sin.
but this is now.
and not way back when.
if i could only.
make you understand.
the years i spent.
with a heart.
made of stone.
there's no way now.
i'd ever let you go.
you'll forever be.
apart of my soul.
you'll forever be.
an october memory.