My Delusional Morning

He sleeps soundly as I sit here.
Contemplating this life of mine.
I'm damned to solitude for the rest of time.
I'll pass the lifetimes of others by in watching the love
That flows so richly through the earth, pure and hallowed.
He breathes slowly in and out.
A cold, harsh wind, whispering a chilling reminder.
This love I pretend to feel is not true, and so long as I delude myself,
I'm increasing future pains.
Where is justice?
Where is my happy ending?
The truth is, I'm only satisfied when I'm crying.
I only create beauty of my pain.
And I long for beauty.
He sighs deeply.
A whirlwind lifting me up in my dreams.
Perhaps delusions aren't so bad.
Perhaps one can be happy while experiencing a mirage.
Or is it better to brave the blazing desert?
I would not know, for I sit here in the morning mist,
Contemplating my life from the safety of my shrouds.
He cries silently as he sleeps.
And why should I ever return to reality?
When all I've felt is pain from such a hellish place.
I've been given nothing but burns from the world.
And here I am safe.