a wondering mind
Why do I portray myself as in being crazy? It’s because I am crazy, I don’t want to be the insane unbalance world in my head, that getting ready to finally explode.
I’m so fuckin tired of helping people out and then getting spit the fuck out. I’m fucking tired that my life is shit.
How come everyones happy or doing better than me... and those the ones that raped me in the ass of my sacrificial labor.
And then disappear when I hit rock fuckin bottom.. Three and a half years I’ve been living like this... I ve lost all hope once upon a time...
yes I was lazy and unmotivated from being abuse frequently by others. Great deal comes with great responsibility huh?
Those were the words I was told growing up as a child. But if it comes with caution then how come others can tamper break down and destroy this blessed gift of mine?
And then turn around and hit jack pot leaving me damage torn out and dying from bleeding splinters in my heart.
Is it amusing for them? Because I love telling jokes as well. Years and years it’s been building up in my heart, mind and now my soul.
Inching closer and closer to shattering through and unleashing this black smoke twisted eerie personality of mine.
The one that holds no boundaries and gets satisfaction out of killing every piece of hope they have until they want to commit suicide.
And shatter their precious loved ones they love so much... and then maybe just maybe I’ll be happy…what the fuck is this hatred of mine.
I give, forgive, forget, start over, and look out…but no it’s fuck me and by them saying that I smile with a wicked taste of murderous reality.
Who am I? What am i? Human? Yes but mentally dismantled to the point I shouldn’t be able to be around these people.
The more I hold it in, the more I feel a painful sharp claw gash at my spirit. This evilness is consuming me by the day as I fight to stay peaceful.
But if they want me to be their fucking aching traitorous nightmare. THEN BE MY FUCKING GUESS BITCHES, BECAUSE I WOULD HAPPILY AND DEADLY ABLODGE.
I’m so fuckin tired of helping people out and then getting spit the fuck out. I’m fucking tired that my life is shit.
How come everyones happy or doing better than me... and those the ones that raped me in the ass of my sacrificial labor.
And then disappear when I hit rock fuckin bottom.. Three and a half years I’ve been living like this... I ve lost all hope once upon a time...
yes I was lazy and unmotivated from being abuse frequently by others. Great deal comes with great responsibility huh?
Those were the words I was told growing up as a child. But if it comes with caution then how come others can tamper break down and destroy this blessed gift of mine?
And then turn around and hit jack pot leaving me damage torn out and dying from bleeding splinters in my heart.
Is it amusing for them? Because I love telling jokes as well. Years and years it’s been building up in my heart, mind and now my soul.
Inching closer and closer to shattering through and unleashing this black smoke twisted eerie personality of mine.
The one that holds no boundaries and gets satisfaction out of killing every piece of hope they have until they want to commit suicide.
And shatter their precious loved ones they love so much... and then maybe just maybe I’ll be happy…what the fuck is this hatred of mine.
I give, forgive, forget, start over, and look out…but no it’s fuck me and by them saying that I smile with a wicked taste of murderous reality.
Who am I? What am i? Human? Yes but mentally dismantled to the point I shouldn’t be able to be around these people.
The more I hold it in, the more I feel a painful sharp claw gash at my spirit. This evilness is consuming me by the day as I fight to stay peaceful.
But if they want me to be their fucking aching traitorous nightmare. THEN BE MY FUCKING GUESS BITCHES, BECAUSE I WOULD HAPPILY AND DEADLY ABLODGE.
♠ ♠ ♠
just venting..