The Right To Disappear

How do I begin?
I'm sorry, even though you probably don't want to hear that.
Also, I miss you. You don't want to hear that, either.
Or do you?
It's been too long, and it's all my fault, and I don't know what to do.
I shouldn't have run away from you like you were another problem in my pile.
There's still a chance you think of me, and there's still a chance you want me to come back.
Would you take me back, if I let you in?
Is there still a chance we can return to how we used to be?
Or did I shatter everything?
Because I miss you. Do I have the right to miss you?
I know I didn't have the right to go and disappear.
I thought I needed to not exist, and I tried, and I tried to hide.
But my problems always found me, because they can smell fear.
I am a grenade, and I didn't want to hurt you.
I never did consider that maybe you didn't mind the ticking in my head.