Shadow on the Wall

They see me everyday
Walking in the halls all alone
“So where do you go for lunch?”
“Oh I go home.”
“Yeah I had a hunch.”
And then they walk away

The next day they approach me and ask
Why don’t you ever go to lunch with a friend
I stop my writing and slowly raise my head
I tell them it would mean no more pretend
Their facial expressions go dead
So I tell them I hide behind a mask

Evidently they don’t understand
For they said what I anticipated
“Of course you have friends, you have us.”
They only said what they thought they should
It was as if they were commenting on a facebook status
But I knew their “kindness” was them acting on command

I just wanted to look them all in the eye
And say to them all
Just because facebook says we are friends doesn’t make it true
& See how they reply
& How few
Lie with time that’s so small

See just how fake they can be
& How well they can lie
How little they think I can see
& Their actions they’ll try to justify
They’re so fake
I can already tell myself their response
I have something to announce
Maybe a word difference, give or take
Their comments and lies
Can make some take their lives

But do they see what they do?
How their actions affect some?
If only they knew
Where we really come from.

How their actions affect me,
What they cause me to do.
It’s always something new
If only they could actually see.

When I leave
Sometimes I just want to cry
Sometimes its until I heave
And then I just want to know why
How did I make you so mad?
Is the person I am that horrid?

I just wish it didn’t have to be this way
That there could be that area of grey