Piano Girl
There's a girl,
sitting at an upright piano,
playing an original melody
but about 15 seconds in,
she forgets.
She forgets what comes next.
She's playing softly at first,
trying to remember
slowly she remembers a key,
and then a few more, and then... nothing
as she is trying to remember her own song,
she's remembering her own life.
Mad about something she doesn't remember,
Mad that she doesn't want to remember.
Her playing gets louder and she's growing more frustrated.
She bangs on the keys.
Starts over. Bangs on the keys. Starts over.
And again, until she gets fed up and plays a different song.
But she can't remember all of that one either,
so she goes to the one she was playing first,
still can't remember any more then she could before.
Now she's imagining herself in a happy place.
She's in a white gazebo with the same piano.
Her hair is longer, more perfect, more curly and brown,
Rather then broken, frizzzy and unrulely.
What does it matter, no one will see it any way,
that's how she feels.
She's not frustrated anymore,
but she's not happy.
She's still playing louder then she should be
but she's not banging on the keys anymore.
This unhappiness leads her to thinking
about the last time she was happy. Truely happy.
It must have been a year ago.
She went to a horse camp, and there was a zip line there.
The first time, the second time, the third time, she wasn't scared. She was flying. She was free.
Her mom commented on how big her smile was that day.
How uncontrollably happy she was, glowing.
Like a bride on her wedding day
but she hasn't even had her first kiss.
She's already convinced.
She doesn't need boys to be happy.
Boys make things complicated,
that's what her brothers taught her,
but they are all gone now. All grown up.
And she's stuck at home for another three years.
This is beside the point.
While playing piano, she is well aware that it is midnight.
That she needs to be up in 6 hours for school.
That there is a chemistry test in first period,
but it always work itself out somehow.
Right now, she just needs to not worry,
for two seconds about anything.
Well anything besides remember that damn song.
The end.
sitting at an upright piano,
playing an original melody
but about 15 seconds in,
she forgets.
She forgets what comes next.
She's playing softly at first,
trying to remember
slowly she remembers a key,
and then a few more, and then... nothing
as she is trying to remember her own song,
she's remembering her own life.
Mad about something she doesn't remember,
Mad that she doesn't want to remember.
Her playing gets louder and she's growing more frustrated.
She bangs on the keys.
Starts over. Bangs on the keys. Starts over.
And again, until she gets fed up and plays a different song.
But she can't remember all of that one either,
so she goes to the one she was playing first,
still can't remember any more then she could before.
Now she's imagining herself in a happy place.
She's in a white gazebo with the same piano.
Her hair is longer, more perfect, more curly and brown,
Rather then broken, frizzzy and unrulely.
What does it matter, no one will see it any way,
that's how she feels.
She's not frustrated anymore,
but she's not happy.
She's still playing louder then she should be
but she's not banging on the keys anymore.
This unhappiness leads her to thinking
about the last time she was happy. Truely happy.
It must have been a year ago.
She went to a horse camp, and there was a zip line there.
The first time, the second time, the third time, she wasn't scared. She was flying. She was free.
Her mom commented on how big her smile was that day.
How uncontrollably happy she was, glowing.
Like a bride on her wedding day
but she hasn't even had her first kiss.
She's already convinced.
She doesn't need boys to be happy.
Boys make things complicated,
that's what her brothers taught her,
but they are all gone now. All grown up.
And she's stuck at home for another three years.
This is beside the point.
While playing piano, she is well aware that it is midnight.
That she needs to be up in 6 hours for school.
That there is a chemistry test in first period,
but it always work itself out somehow.
Right now, she just needs to not worry,
for two seconds about anything.
Well anything besides remember that damn song.
The end.