Shadows of the Past

Six years.
Six years of torture, of abuse, of terror.
It's finally over.
You're gone.
But you didn't leave with me intact.
A soul, ripped to shreds
An ache in my chest that may never go away.
Why do I yearn for your presence?
I never received anything but pain from you
Yet your existence inside me
was still comforting in its own way.
I feel my soul plead for you
Reaching to somewhere too far away.
My conscious brain and subconscious desires
cannot seem to agree on what I feel.
My mind says you're free from him forever!
...and rejoices.
So why is my heart still saying
I want you back?
You're gone, and my head is unclouded
for the first time since I can remember
And yet...