Only A Hope

Gasping, choking
Screaming, crying
On the inside
I'm dying

My heart sinks
And breaks with every thought
'They would be better off
If existing I were not.'

somehow I sense it is all my fault
all of my pain
and so I take my suffering in silence
As my blood runs down the drain

I see the cuts
They burn and sting
But inside I now feel nothing

I don't know what I did
But somehow I deserve this
I must have done something?
Why else would this be happening?

I long for death
But that would be to easy
To breath my last breath

For whatever I did wrong
I feel I must suffer
for surely after all this pain
things will be better?

A silly wish that was
But I wish it all the same
as I long to die
but dare to live again