Help Me

What's happening to me?!
Why can't i figure out my feelings for one fucking person?!
why can't i just love one person?
Why does she have to be so beautiful?
why do i have to need him so much?
why does she steal my heart with her eyes?
why does my heart skip a beat when she smiles?
why does he make me smile?
why does she make me so happy inside?
why does he make me feel so safe and protected?
why did i lie after i kissed her?
why does something feel missing when i'm with him?
why can't i get her out of my head?
why can't i just leave her alone?
why does she put this magic spell on me?
why can i still feel her lips on mine?
why do i always go back to him?
why does he have to love me so much?
why can't i love him just as much?
why do my feelings for her grow?
why do my feelings for him never change?
why does my heart break at the thought of leaving him?
why does my heart ache to be with her?
why does everything feel so right in her arms?
why is it that they both know me so much better than i know myself?
why can't they hate me?
why don't they just leave me alone?
why do i always run from emotion?
why can't i ever be true to myself?
why can't i ever decide on anything?
why do i always hide behind a mask?
why did i let them in my heart?
why does the thought of them keep me up at night?
why do they bring tears to my eyes?
when will this pain of not knowing anything go away?
will i ever be strong enough to choose?
why do i have to love them both so much?
why is it that i, who has so many friends, has no one to talk to?
why do i always feel so alone?
why does she make me feel just a bit better with just her presence?
why does he make me feel normal?
why does it feel like i'm deciding deciding who i really am by choosing one of them?
why can't anyone see that i can't take this anymore?
why doesn't anyone see that i just want to run away from everything?
why can't i just be alone?
why am i so weak?
why do they love me?
they deserve better than me. i am nothing special. i am nothing but filth for hurting her like this.
why can't i just tell him how i feel?
how can he know me so well and not see that something is wrong?
why can't i just end it all?
WHY CAN'T I JUST FUCKING CHOOSE!?!?