My First True Love
Everybody thinks the first person they like is their first love.
Maybe it is...
But over half the time... It's not.
I for instince, I have fallen in love many times throughout the fourteen and three quarter years I've been alive.
There was Ethan, and Tyler, and Nick, and of course Richard.
But no one... and I do mean no one, has ever made me feel things that Cameron does.
At first, I though this was just another guy that I'd never talk to more than once.
I thought if I lied I'd seem interesting.
I told him things that most certainly weren't true, and he believed me.
After a few days of speaking with him, I knew it was time to tell the truth.
I showed him the real me and exposed my horrible life story, and what did he do?
He accepted me.
He told me he'd help me through this rough patch in my life.
He told me he loved me.
I of course felt the same way, even though I had people shouting at me telling me I didn't.
I fantasized about running away and starting my life with him every day.
We picked out our baby's names.
We joked around.
And I wrote to him lyrics from sappy love songs that I felt summed up my emotions.
People knew about us, and they didn't approve.
But they still let me talk to him.
We had our first fight, and I just left him hanging, waiting for my responses.
I was instructed to not talk to him, that there would be major consequences if I did.
I listened for a little while, but needed to talk to him.
I told him how I felt, and I found a way to talk with him secretly.
Little did I know, it wasn't secret anymore.
I can't be trusted now.
I'm sitting here writing this, listening to our song, bawling my eyes out.
It seems I can't run away from these damn memories, no matter how hard I try.
Everyone thinks I'm a liar when I say I love Cameron, but I'm not.
We may not have met, and yes, there's an age difference, but I can't help how I feel.
I love this guy with all of my heart, and I would do absolutely anything to just say those three little words to him one last time.
He was and will always be my first true love.
Being without him is killing inside.
It's sticking pins and needles in my heart, poisoning it, dowsing it in gasoline, and burning it.
Life is cutting my heart in half and putting each half in a blender.
It's eating my heart with the fangs of the devil.
There's a tightness in my chest, and tears in my eyes every time something reminds me of him.
Like I could have a heart attack and die.
Death seems better than living without him.
So now I just want to die.
Someone end this pain.
I want to die.
I want to die.
Maybe it is...
But over half the time... It's not.
I for instince, I have fallen in love many times throughout the fourteen and three quarter years I've been alive.
There was Ethan, and Tyler, and Nick, and of course Richard.
But no one... and I do mean no one, has ever made me feel things that Cameron does.
At first, I though this was just another guy that I'd never talk to more than once.
I thought if I lied I'd seem interesting.
I told him things that most certainly weren't true, and he believed me.
After a few days of speaking with him, I knew it was time to tell the truth.
I showed him the real me and exposed my horrible life story, and what did he do?
He accepted me.
He told me he'd help me through this rough patch in my life.
He told me he loved me.
I of course felt the same way, even though I had people shouting at me telling me I didn't.
I fantasized about running away and starting my life with him every day.
We picked out our baby's names.
We joked around.
And I wrote to him lyrics from sappy love songs that I felt summed up my emotions.
People knew about us, and they didn't approve.
But they still let me talk to him.
We had our first fight, and I just left him hanging, waiting for my responses.
I was instructed to not talk to him, that there would be major consequences if I did.
I listened for a little while, but needed to talk to him.
I told him how I felt, and I found a way to talk with him secretly.
Little did I know, it wasn't secret anymore.
I can't be trusted now.
I'm sitting here writing this, listening to our song, bawling my eyes out.
It seems I can't run away from these damn memories, no matter how hard I try.
Everyone thinks I'm a liar when I say I love Cameron, but I'm not.
We may not have met, and yes, there's an age difference, but I can't help how I feel.
I love this guy with all of my heart, and I would do absolutely anything to just say those three little words to him one last time.
He was and will always be my first true love.
Being without him is killing inside.
It's sticking pins and needles in my heart, poisoning it, dowsing it in gasoline, and burning it.
Life is cutting my heart in half and putting each half in a blender.
It's eating my heart with the fangs of the devil.
There's a tightness in my chest, and tears in my eyes every time something reminds me of him.
Like I could have a heart attack and die.
Death seems better than living without him.
So now I just want to die.
Someone end this pain.
I want to die.
I want to die.