This Isn't Home to Me

I feel like crying, I'm hurting inside.
I feel like dying, my life's a lie.
I'm not perfect, though you want me to be.
I'll never be normal, though it's expected of me.
I've stolen, I've cheated, I've lied.
I've cut, I've hurt, I've cried.
Go ahead, tell me my life is crap.
Because I am nothing, I already know that.
I want to run, and hide away.
Maybe I'll get better, and help myself someday.
Maybe I'll find love, to a man who treats me right.
Maybe then I won't cry in the dead of night.
Or maybe I'll have a family, one to call my own.
But my kids won't love me, this house will never be home.
That's the tricky thing though, I've never felt home you see.
Everywhere I've lived is just a place that shelters me.
Home is a place where you should be yourself, and not worry what people think.
Home is a place where you go when you're sad, so mama can fix everything.
Home is where the heart is they say, so why do I feel so lost?
My heart does not belong here, but I'll find that place at any cost.
I wonder where home is, if it's with my father.
But no that can't be, oh it doesn't matter.
I guess I'll never know where I truly belong.
But time heals all wounds and my heart will go on.
Hopefully one day, I'll feel at peace with myself.
Until then I guess I'll continue living this hell.