contemplating suicide

Contemplating suicide

I’ve thought of pulling the trigger so many times
All I’ve wanted is to end this life of mine
every time I breath I hope its my last
I just cant take these memories anymore of my past
I have so far attempted fourteen times in my life
And it’s quite common I cut with a knife
Or maybe a razor, or a pair of scissors
Or some burns with an eraser or lighter
Overall the scars on my body are In the thousands
All thanks to these people, these woman and men
I said I would but I just don’t want to push through anymore
All I ever do is hurt and make my blood pour
I just wish some one could truly hear my voice
I tried to live but I cant, for me living isn’t a choice
I know for a fact I wont say anything
I know for a fact I’ll just stay locked in and hold these feelings
I just wont speak until someone says something to me
I’ll keep expressing myself through this poetry
I just will continue this until I break
I do wish I could break through this for my life’s sake
But I know no one will speak out for me
They wont notice me until I succeed at suicide
It seems so peaceful, to end everything, to lay to rest
All I have ever been is a pest
When the day comes I’ll point the gun to my head
Bang bang just like I said…