Fake

Am I Real or Fake?
You want me to tell you my life story and wonder why I don't.
Because after talking to you I find myself lost behind a mask,
I feel worthless when I know I am not.
The same mask that I have worked so hard to take off.
I can not control what I say when behind that mask of fear, loneliness, and want to fit in
with the one friend that you have became a better friend with than me.
He talks to you and is real with you
and you are real with him
but everything you say to me makes me hide behind that mask to somewhat be your friend.
The opposite of real is fake!
Fake is what I feel after I talk to you
I get lost in the jokes and humor you use
because it is no different than the jokes and humor that the worldly people uses.
I get lost in your words and how I should take them if they are positive to me
are knifes that cut up my hart and make me want to cry.
You want to be my friend so the fake me with a mask on loves you all the time
but the real me inside sometimes is scared and wants to scream when I hear you talk
because I fill insufficient to you and your words do more harm than good to me sometimes.
All I want is a friend that loves me for me and like God loves me.
I don't know if that is you.
Don't ask me why I feel this I just do I can't help it.