Guys, I'm Getting Depressed Again

I begin the depression again
where I'm laying there, in the bath tub
the lights off and a liter
bottle filled to the brim with water,
just hydrating for hours and staring
at the cracks in the tiles of the shower walls.

I think I could live like this,
“I think I could live like this.”
No, my tongue is sour, the words taste bitter,
I am empty and yet so full of despair.

I try to talk to my friends but they just stress me out,
I would talk to myself but it would stress me out, too
it's a difficult thing.

To fight so hard to be happy with yourself
and in the end you're not happy at all.
It is there looming, creeping up on you again,
calling you again and again on the phone
like an old friend
who you never really liked anyway.

I try to tell the world but it turns it's big old back on me,
it turns it's back on me, and that's alright I guess
because by now I've turned my back on it, too.