Fatal Vacation

I'm going on a trip so very far from here. 
I hope that you'll come too. 
We could go somewhere pretty and neat,
Where the sky is always blue. 

What if we go and never look back?
Leave all the hurt and the tears. 
What if we run and never return?
Forget everything from these years. 

Would you join me so I'm not alone?
Start fresh and make a new life. 
Would you and I find a new happiness?
Escape this hell and this strife. 

What if you say no and I go myself?
Would you regret it once I am gone?
What if I kiss you goodbye one last time?
Bid you farewell and so long?

But in reality I can't ask you to come. 
I'm going to be gone forever. 
It wouldn't be fair as you'd be so missed. 
For this is an eternal endeavor.  

Because I'm going nowhere, not London nor France. 
Not Iceland or Sweden or Spain. 
I'm going to Hell with a gun and a rope. 
It's the trip of all trips to end pain.