A Grand Excuse

The giant frog monster thing
Oh what joy did he not bring
It grabbed me by my pink dress
It wanted to eat me, I guess
My parents were shooting
I was hollering and hooting

They shot at her stomach
She was as big as a hummock
Blood trickled down
But soon we'll run her out of town

They shot at her arm
We should lock her up in a funny farm
Blood trickled to the floor
This is one event full of gore

Finally they shot her in a vulnerable place
Down she went but still held on to my lace
My parents pried me from her cold dead hands
I gave them a hug that was oh so grand

So, this is why I didn’t show up for school
Please dear teacher, I didn't break the rules
This grand excuse is very true
Oh please! Not detention! Boo! Hoo! Hoo!