Falling in love

I sit on the side of the tub every time I get out of the shower for at least fifteen minutes.
I just can't get up and face the weight in the cage,
Sitting in my chest,
My heart fills like a million worlds.

And my stomach feels like the home of an icky monster,
Thinking that I might not ever find love in anything but this.

Today, it feels like something is missing.
It might be the pieces of my heart that I gave away,
And I never got back.

Some mornings I wake up,
Hoping for a missed call,
A text message.
Sometimes I'm so hopeful,
I even hope for a voice mail.

But no,
In the morning,
none of these things happen,
That's when I realize I'm alone.
Because I'm waking up,
Always,
With no one to hold.

The person I do have to hold,
Lives how ever many miles away,
You know I've never been good at geology...
or whatever...
All i know how to do is write,
And love.
Write and love.

And one of them gets no use,
Because I only fall in love with people
who don't open their eyes in time.
And I always know,
with every syllable they breathe,
Their free spirit will never be
Mine.