Life Not Worth Living

I'm just anther mistake.
I wish they could've helped me sooner,
But they couldn't anymore.
I'm just another mistake.

They say I can fix it myself,
I can easily by helped,
But who can really help,
If I can fix it myself?

I'm by myself,
I'm so alone,
People are angry at me,
But they're more hurt by my decision.
I'm by myself,
So alone,
On this one choice I've decided.

I don't want to see,
I don't want to hear,
I don't want to smell,
I don't to taste,
I don't want to breathe.

I pray to a god now,
That I don't even believe in,
That I want a terminal illness,
So that can kill me,
So my friends and family,
Don't have to deal with my suicide.

Wouldn't that be so much easier?
Wouldn't that be a nicer way to die,
Instead of killing myself?
I can't find a nice way to die,
I can't find an easy way to die,
I can't co-exist with anyone,
Any longer.

I hate myself,
I hate living,
I hate my life,
I hate myself.

I want to die,
I don't know how much I can say that,
Before someone actually tells me to do it,
I want to die,
Tell me to kill myself,
Tell me to go on with it,
So I can have that extra push,
To just die.

She says if I kill myself,
She'll kill herself too.
I really doubt it,
Because I know better than that.
She can lose me,
Just that easily,
She has too many people there for her,
And not that many for me.

I want to die,
So give me a push,
And make myself do it.