I'm Tired of Being a Freak

To Whom it May Concern:

I thought if I had lied,
And said the voices disappeared
I thought you'd realize,
I'm not as strange as I appear.

I am human and imperfect,
But I'm not all bad
I promise I am worth it,
And that hope was all I had.

I wanted someone to hear,
To care as I was distraught,
But I was alone with abnormal fears,
And that's why we fought.

You never understood me,
Nor the things I heard,
Nor the things I see,
But understood every word.

The voices never went away,
I would just tell you a lie,
Hoping you would stay,
But the voices told me to die.

You didn't stay for me,
You left me behind,
I think you could see,
Everything I tried to hide.

Well now it is all spoken,
I'm a freak, a dope,
A boy with a mind broken,
Stuck in a world with no hope.

I tried to get better, I swear
But the medications collapse,
And you didn't care
About my insane relapse.

I tried to fight it,
But I am weak,
Because I can't forget
What the voices speak.

They tell me I'm wrong,
They say I should hurt,
They tell me I don't belong,
But should be six feet under dirt.

But then they argue and disagree,
Who would ever want
To have a funeral for me?
Then the voices taunt.

They remind me of the bad things,
That I deserve what I got,
They say I deserve nothing,
Only to be forgot.

Would anyone ever remember me?
I think decidedly not,
I am just a freak,
And deserve what I got.

I deserve the shadows that follow,
Every haunting sight,
I deserve to be hollow,
I deserve to die tonight.

Why did you leave me alone?
Surely you knew I'm weak,
I can't survive on my own
But no one wants a freak.

So the freak says good bye,
I bid you farewell,
The voices told me to die,
So I'll sit alone in hell.