And Counting...
One,
The lights go out but the grey glare still shines through the window.
The pitter-patter of the rain echoes as it jabs onto the roof
And only the roof,
But somehow, I can feel it splash against my back.
I see down onto the ground, ready,
Ready now,
To be trampled on is the rug by the essence
Of a soul that was once so lively and merciful.
The walls flash at me stained red
Red, red, red,
The color of the blood in my veins,
The color of the air that I breathe,
The color of the life that I live.
Scattered around on the floor are the clothes.
The coverings I drape over my body to hide,
Hiding is the only thing I that live for,
The only way that I can succeed.
Two,
I wish that you wouldn’t come back
That I never had to see your face again
Because if that were the case I would have a reason,
A reason to never feel alone.
But still I sit on the musty green couch,
Aching to see you walk through that door,
All tumbling spokes.
Because it is the one constant I have in my life.
It is the one sanctity that I have in my life.
The walls they scream at me with their sandy colors
So loud in my ears as I sink down into the grains,
So coarse and sharp.
They have their way with me.
As I sink deeper I can see the fossils
The remains of creatures once so lively and merciful,
Mourn for them, write elegies for them,
So that they might just be reborn.
Three,
The pictures stare at me with smiles so fake
I can still see the tears that riddled my face moments before,
I missed you, yes
But the flash had blinded me.
You hang on the wall
Tantalizing me
Until you walk downstairs to see my face
And intimidate my being once more.
I can never win with you,
But that’s exactly what keeps me around.
I will never tell you,
But that’s exactly what keeps you on your toes.
The wooden frame around your face
It exaggerates your features.
You are spared by the passage of time,
But not on the inside.
Four,
The stars blanket the sky and I have yet to find a way out,
A way out of this cosmic torture that so many call reality.
The wind blows hot and effortless
It ties my hair into knots and throws my soul miles away.
I fly with it
The timeless current
And it engulfs my body in a wrap of pure harmony
The kind you only find when you are at total bliss.
My legs are numb
But they still move strongly
Gliding through the thick gelatin that everyone else seems to trip over
I know this world well.
The last sliver of light disappears and I,
I am the only one that is still able to see.
Everyone is blind to the reasons.
Everyone is blind to the answers.
Five,
You are soon to return and I resume my routine as usual
Carefully sorting through the papers on the counter,
The blankets on the couch,
The thoughts in my head.
The television rings in the background
But in the absolute center of everything
The sound becomes void
And I drown it out though it blares through the house.
My eyes begin to roll backwards
Falling,
Falling through the space that I so easily manipulate,
Falling through a world that is mine and only mine.
My limbs begin to soar,
Sinking,
Sinking down into the chocolaty brown irises of the one that I love
And I float on my back through that world drenched in water
before anyone can see.
Six,
I wait.
The lights go out but the grey glare still shines through the window.
The pitter-patter of the rain echoes as it jabs onto the roof
And only the roof,
But somehow, I can feel it splash against my back.
I see down onto the ground, ready,
Ready now,
To be trampled on is the rug by the essence
Of a soul that was once so lively and merciful.
The walls flash at me stained red
Red, red, red,
The color of the blood in my veins,
The color of the air that I breathe,
The color of the life that I live.
Scattered around on the floor are the clothes.
The coverings I drape over my body to hide,
Hiding is the only thing I that live for,
The only way that I can succeed.
Two,
I wish that you wouldn’t come back
That I never had to see your face again
Because if that were the case I would have a reason,
A reason to never feel alone.
But still I sit on the musty green couch,
Aching to see you walk through that door,
All tumbling spokes.
Because it is the one constant I have in my life.
It is the one sanctity that I have in my life.
The walls they scream at me with their sandy colors
So loud in my ears as I sink down into the grains,
So coarse and sharp.
They have their way with me.
As I sink deeper I can see the fossils
The remains of creatures once so lively and merciful,
Mourn for them, write elegies for them,
So that they might just be reborn.
Three,
The pictures stare at me with smiles so fake
I can still see the tears that riddled my face moments before,
I missed you, yes
But the flash had blinded me.
You hang on the wall
Tantalizing me
Until you walk downstairs to see my face
And intimidate my being once more.
I can never win with you,
But that’s exactly what keeps me around.
I will never tell you,
But that’s exactly what keeps you on your toes.
The wooden frame around your face
It exaggerates your features.
You are spared by the passage of time,
But not on the inside.
Four,
The stars blanket the sky and I have yet to find a way out,
A way out of this cosmic torture that so many call reality.
The wind blows hot and effortless
It ties my hair into knots and throws my soul miles away.
I fly with it
The timeless current
And it engulfs my body in a wrap of pure harmony
The kind you only find when you are at total bliss.
My legs are numb
But they still move strongly
Gliding through the thick gelatin that everyone else seems to trip over
I know this world well.
The last sliver of light disappears and I,
I am the only one that is still able to see.
Everyone is blind to the reasons.
Everyone is blind to the answers.
Five,
You are soon to return and I resume my routine as usual
Carefully sorting through the papers on the counter,
The blankets on the couch,
The thoughts in my head.
The television rings in the background
But in the absolute center of everything
The sound becomes void
And I drown it out though it blares through the house.
My eyes begin to roll backwards
Falling,
Falling through the space that I so easily manipulate,
Falling through a world that is mine and only mine.
My limbs begin to soar,
Sinking,
Sinking down into the chocolaty brown irises of the one that I love
And I float on my back through that world drenched in water
before anyone can see.
Six,
I wait.