Intoxicated Regrets

Past lives I look upon
Longing for loves that are past and gone
Young love so pure
If only you knew dear
How sorry I am
As I sit from the side also longing to die
I see you two and know we can never be
I just wish I could leave
These memories in my head haunt me
And of my wrecked deeds
I cant believe what ive done to you
Who I loved and always will
Until im rest under the hill
I can never let another near as I did with you
I wish you really knew how I fell
Sick and ill filled with tainted feelings of false hope of love again
It wrecks my heart every time you speak you speak to me
As jealousy consumes me uncontrollable insane I feel nervous breathing heart fluttering
Un-able to speak as I begin to feel meak
Stumbling feet
Looking for answers by substance abuse burn out
Filled with doubt is what ive become without you
Numbing my thoughts of you is all I can do
To keep me away from you
I don’t know what to do
Answers every where but no real solutions
This pain causes me to hurt others as ive been hurt
Lower than dirt is what I am
Population of the damn
I wish someone could understand
But for now ill sit here in the sand
As I try to let go
I wish I could feel anothers love
Broken I am
Crumbling amongst the lands
Of the man I used to me be
Screams of sounds yell as I plead to escape my torture