Leaving.

If I caught fever
and threw it to you like a fast ball,
caught you in the flames,
would you melt me like plastic
so I never have to leave your side?
If you take anything home
and save it as a souvenir
I beg for it to be me.
Take me home like a throw pillow,
lay me on you bed,
and rest your uneasy head on my rough edges.

If I came to your home
and asked you to come back,
would you listen?
Would you swallow me whole,
and never let me go?
Ingest me like ecstasy
so I can bleed through your blood stream
and settle in your spine.

I pray to God that when you die,
that I'll be born again as a bird
so I can still get lost in you.

Its the beginning and the end that are easy,
but the in between is fucking hard.
So when you're gone its the hardest part,
its when you get here that's easy
and when you leave I'll let you go
because I know you'll be back,
like winter brings the snow.

But when you're gone I spend hours in my bed awake,
counting the fingers that used to hold your heart like hands,
I count the money we share like wedding bands.

When you're gone you tell me the sweetest things.
"Things will get better," you say.
"If not you've always got me,
and our dreams."
We can sleep forever if it means
that one day our stars will be constellations on most nights,
even if its only in our dreams.

Love isn't always easy, or free.
But holding your tired body in my arms is love,
and loving you is so easy, and it never feels hard,
except when you're pleasing me,
but that's another love song.
But, believe me when I say,
"Loving you is easy with my humming bird heart."