And Just Like That, You Were Gone.

I miss you. More than you will ever know.
More than I’d usually miss somebody, I miss you with an ache,
A throbbing ache that ripples throughout my chest with every hollow attempt to grasp how I managed to lose you.
Every memory that thrives in the corners of my thoughts penetrates my inner sanctum of the wall I’ve been building all these years.
All this time of hardening my outer shell, only to have you shatter it. Demolish it.
My mind craves you erratically, my will has sunken along with the hope of ever holding you for that split second again,
Just one more night to lay in your arms and feel your kiss on my jaw, feel your eyes on mine, feeding them with what they’ve hungered for all this time - you.
You are the essence of my soul, the pounding in my veins,
You’re the recurring dream that touches my sleep in the dead of night.
You’re the smell in my hair, the absence of my desperation.
Just bring me that saving touch I’ve so overwhelmingly longed for these past months of my life.
Months, darling, it’s been months since I lost you and yet you still find ways to keep your hand grasped to the roots of my hair,
A choke collar around the haggard skin on my neck, the neck that you possessed with your prodding lips,
The neck that your scent once lingered upon and clung to,
The neck that once pumped blood eccentrically at the mere sight of your piercing eyes.
Those damned eyes.
Hypnotic would be an understatement. Those colors that had reflected my expressions of wanderlust. I lusted for you, I begged for you, because you had become my drug. My pathetic addiction.
And I to you? A mere distraction, a pretty face to gaze upon when your emotions were stirred.
I gave you my soul and all of its secrets.
I gave you my body and my dignity, and you casually tossed it aside until you became bored again. Until you realized you only had me.
And that was the end of what ever shards of my wall that were still withstanding the pressure, Crumbling down, right into the sweaty palms of your hands.
Slipping with ease through your fingertips and crashing into an empty, emotionless abyss, alongside the soft whispers of my heart.
Your abyss.
You made me what I am, you lowered me into the desperate lover I have become.
And yet, all the while, my thoughts still echo your name, my mouth still waters at the memories of us.
Of you and I, intertwined as one being. One wholesome passion.
The stabbing memories of the words you had shaped and stuck around the idea in my head that we were always meant to be one,
That you’d always pursue the chance to overcome the distance and pull me wildly into your warm embrace, blood shooting through our systems and turning to ice in our veins,
Melting together into oblivion.
Both of our bodies submissive to each other and the path we were pursuing.
We wouldn’t know where to go, we’d simply coexist in each other’s warmth and euphoria.

Darling, you and I should have had this. If only you had chosen to stick around a little longer.