The Pain It Causes

I look down at my left arm,
to see the pain I have wraught upon myself,
And I notice
it leaves ugly scars to remind me
what had caused this pain.

I look down at my left leg,
to see the words
of torture and hatred,
of harrasment and fear,
of pain and greif,
of disappointment and displeasure,
carved upon it.
I see how people see me.
I see how I see myself.
I see the pain I was put through,
and the horror of how it looks to others.

The scars,
bright white against my skin
Show my sorrow and pain
and my hardships that I have been through.
My times of weakness,
marked forever into my skin,
as little ribbons,
once flowing red,
now horrid reminders.

In only 14 years,
My skin has been marred
over triple that.
Never marking more then once
with a razor,
shining silver.
Showing I can feel pain,
but only for a while.
Only then I realize what I did,
once the pain stops.
Just another useless reminder,
on my ugly body.