From her to him

I don’t know where to start, In fact I don’t want to start because anything with a beginning as an end. Andre, I have so much to tell you, there aren’t enough words to do so. I’m so sorry to see you hurt like that, I’m even sorrier to hear your thoughts about me. I never meant to be the object of your pain. In fact all I wanted was to make you happy. At first, you were just my only friend, the only person I felt comfortable being myself with. But now, you’re not only the only thing I have after my family, but also the guy I love to never forget. I fell in love with you so deeply, and trust me I know all this might be a little bit scary for you, because it is for me as well but know that it’s all real. My feelings, my words, my tears... At least that’s what I think, because right now it hurts so much to see how we lost control of everything... It hurts very much, but you know what? It’s a good thing it does, because your pain, my pain is at this point, my only reminder that everything is still real. These past days, I’ve been so depressed, I swear I could hear my heart talk, it’s like a hole has been punched through my chest, you’re hurt because of me and I’m hurt because of that. I’m sorry I lied, about something so stupid, from the bottom of my heart, I apologize. I know nothing justifies a lie, but you still have to know that the reason I did so is because I was scared, I was scared of losing you. Things have gotten to a point where I didn’t even know what to say to you or how to say it, I know something was wrong, and I assumed that any little things I’d do would make things worse, and I was trying to avoid that but I obviously failed, and I apologize for that: I’m not perfect, you’re not either, or else you wouldn’t have asked for forgiveness so many times in your life. Andre we’re not perfect and we don’t have to be, as long as we have each other. I trust that you still care about me, you said you loved me and I believed you.. And unless you prove me wrong, I won’t give up on you. My heart does not allow me to do so, you are the only guy I want to be with. Please forgive me and let’s start over. I know it will take time for things to be good again, but all we need right now is mutual feelings, and we have that, don’t we? It will take time, I promise I will make you trust me again but I need you to give me another chance to show you that I will do anything, and I mean anything to make this work. Honestly, I won’t lie and say I’ve never been happy before, but the only times remember being happy is when I was with you. I don’t know what it is, it’s very strong and it won’t let me give up on you, you’re amazing and I love you for that, I love you for who you are, for the way you’ve become such a better person compared to when we first started talking. Andre I don’t know if this is true love, but I do know that without you I’m lost. Think about all the memories we’ve had, how we met, how we helped each other grow each and every day.., listen to your heart and tell me do you really want to hurt me and yourself even more then we already are? Pain is a sign of hope, I believe that this is all part of a process, we can and will be happy, please don’t give up on us. Don’t give up on me because I can’t give up on you.