Because of Her

So many times I have tried and failed
Searching for meaning when life has paled
Wondering what is the meaning of life
Is it to survive amongst all this strife
I wish I had an immense eraser
So I could erase all my faults and face her
The woman whom I have betrayed
Haunting memories seem to pervade
My consciousness which seems so dark
Left only a ragged, bloody mark
I leave only suffering in my wake
They see my smile as only fake
“Please!” She cries out but I turn away
My soul shatters and starts to decay
Saving myself meant losing her
I thought only about this wretched cur
How I wish time would unwind
I would gladly give myself up as to not be maligned
Taunted for my sins
We used to be twins
Or so she thought
She never believed I’d leave her to rot
I hear her cries on a winter’s night
Reminding me of my awful plight
I must end this
Find bliss
Yeah right I deserve the hottest home in hell
I realize that I cannot dwell
I walk and walk until my feet bleed
Then I see her face and I plead
Forgiveness is all I ask
She shakes her head covered in a mask
It slowly falls and I see the horror beneath
Rotting flesh and yellow teeth
“Come with me and get what you deserve”
“I especially asked the devil for this reserve”
Opening up the ground below
Welcomed by demons screaming hello
I smile slightly and close my eyes
I earned this and this is my prize
I forgive you
Someone whispers and I know it is true
I open my eyes and am back in the snow
Staring aghast because of her frightful show
She silently nods her head and disappears
I remember the words she whispered in my ears
Tears quietly fall down my face
And I know I have reached a very good place