Numb Inside

this so called beautiful life,
inst so called that anymore,
i take this knife,
and run for the bathroom door,
i sink to the cold marble floor,
and take all my strife,
out on my white skin,
at school i lower my chin,
to hide all the tears on my cheeks,
i wear the long sleeves of winter,
in the middle of summer,
the scars will slowly fade,
but they will never fully go away,
there a reminder of all the pain,
all the tears shed for reasons unknown to others eyes,
explanations for the cuts on my arms,
are the lies of many more to come,
the grin on my tear streaked face,
are told to be the tears of laughter and happiness,
when all i really am is numb inside,
you dont know how much i long for you to know the truth,
to really get to know the real me,
for i have been hiding all along,
who i really am,
for the pain i feel will never go away,
so you will never get to know who i was before the strife came