Body

I watched you fading for two long years
I watched you crumble and fall apart
I witnessed your tears and your pain
Thinking everything would be better eventually

Hearing you say those words
Made me break at the very core
I stopped my world and put everything on hold
To spend every last second with you

I sat with you as you lost your memory
I was there when you couldn’t speak anymore
I sat with you when you stopped opening your eyes
I was there when you stopped breathing normally

I wanted to be there in every way possible
So that’s why I stood alone in a room
With your freezing pale body
And your silk covered coffin

I watched you and how still you were
With your alabaster skin
And your sewn mouth and eyelids
Touching your hands that felt like wax

I sat amongst the sea of tear stained faces
Staring at your coffin that was presented to the altar
I didn’t sing and pray and I did not laugh
I just tried to contain whatever was ripping me apart inside

I watched as they lowered you into the ground
I threw flowers and dirt into your pit
And I listened to words that meant nothing to me
Realising how completely lost you will always be

Even though I didn’t realise it
I've watched your tired stitched up body fade
And I have clung to your skeletal frame
I wish I could erase the bad memories of you
But then I'd have no memories