Believe it or Not

Believe it or not I didn’t want it to come to this, so close to insanity and calling it bliss.
Believe it or not I didn’t want to be this dark, or to write things like this.
Believe it or not I didn’t want to be as cynical as I am, nor have the thoughts I do.
Believe it or not I didn’t want to be so creepy and cold, I wanted to be mature and grown.
Believe it or not I didn’t want it to end like this, with emptiness of heart, everything’s amiss.

Believe it or not it didn’t have to play out like this, it didn’t have to be such discord.
Believe it or not it didn’t have to be the only way I could find to cope and live.
Believe it or not it didn’t start like this, innocence was my code, till my first kiss.
Believe it or not it didn’t have to continue like this, I could’ve abandoned it all.
Believe it or not it I want to. But without my catharsis, I feel lost and completely insecure inside.

Believe it or not, I wish I could change, but I can’t because I’m in too deep, I’m already a creep.