Wanna know who I really am?

Every time I speak, I can feel the rush of water speeding up my blood,
I may not enteral, or an happy-ending,
Fear is something I live by,
And even when the pages are turning,
I will forever not know this person’s mind,
The heart beats faster,
The secret gets deeper,
I know who you are though we’ve never meet.
I’ve blew the kiss,
I’ve blew the chances of changes,
But never blew the smoke of a cigarette.
I’ve dreamed but never been to these places,
Never dated these girls but I've seen their pretty faces,
But in real life it’s just my everyday purpose of waking up,
In other words let me tell you what this is really about,
I can't because I know gossip tip-toes around.