Pills

They give me all these pills to make me normal.
I think I felt better before I started taking all these pills.
I wake up and I take my pills.
Everyday always the same order.
I take one for pain then one for the sadness
then one for anxiety then one to balance the mind.
When the muscles ache I take one for that.
When night time comes I take one to sleep.
All these pills and I'm still not right.
All these pills and I still can't sleep.
Sometimes I don't take my pills,
sometimes I take to many.
The Xanax makes me do strange things,
so does the Ambien and the Warfarin.
The Xanax makes me forget the things I've done.
I always take the OxyContin.
I have to have that.
I like the way my Soma makes me feel,
nice and loose and warm.
Sometimes the pain is stronger,
so I need something stronger.
That's when I take my pain meds from a spoon and needle.
I wear long sleeves so no one sees what I've done.
Sometimes I wonder if the doctor
really believes all these pills will fix me.
I don't. I know me and I know I'm a failure.
I know how to fix me so everyday I plan and prepare.
One pill at a time I slowly save up
for the day I decide to fix me. A handful of pills,
a glass full of scotch, that's the solution to this mess.
Maybe ill write something nice for the family to read, probably not.
Till then I'll take these pills.