I Cannot

I cannot sing.
I cannot play an instrument.
I cannot dance.
I cannot draw.
Believe me, I've tried.
I cannot understand.
I cannot focus.
I cannot be beautiful.
I cannot be petite.
Believe me, I've tried.
I cannot be happy.
I cannot be social.
I cannot sleep.
I cannot stay calm.
Believe me, I've tried.
It seems the only thing i can do is tear myself apart.
Why am i here
Take away my breathing
Please God- if you're listening
I cannot do it myself.
Believe me, I've tried.