Brooding

My gaze is dark,
My heart cold,
My love dried up.

I’m sick of being used
And abused,
By so called friends.
At least I know my foes hate me,
But how the hell am I supposed to know why my friends are stabbing me in the back?
I shake my head at the injustice,
At the unfairness,
Of the situation.

Tears threaten to fall,
But I force them to stay within,
For showing weakness isn’t my forte,
Or my style.
I know it’s wrong to hold it all inside,
And to brood silently,
But I can’t afford to show others,
The way I feel,
The way I ache.
I know I’d only get laughed at for my weakness,
Because you see I am ordinarily very strong.

But my barriers have fallen,
My walls crumbling down around me,
My psyche shattered.
Blood rains down,
And drowns me,
I can’t run away,
And frankly I don’t want to.
As I’m swept away in the bloody water,
I let my cares drift away.
I am still brooding so I could care less about what befalls me.

But then a rainbow floats above me in the sky.
That’s strange I think.
Is it a sign of god?
And just like that the blood drains and I am left standing in a puddle.
I blink,
Confused,
And baffled as to what happened.

All I know is someone wants me alive.
I suppose for now I’ll stop brooding and forget about the traitors in my life.
Because truth be told I’m over them,
And their lies.

I will forget them but I won’t forgive.
I guess some would call that selfish but I honestly don’t give a damn.
I’m so sick of everything,
So tired.

I leave the world to pick up the shattered pieces of my life,
And ignore my traitors,
Because I am fed up with them.
I live,
Because I know I need to.