This Is Dangerous, This Is Death

Nothing. No inspiration. No self-motivation. No will power to do anything.
I’m in a state where all my vision is blue. Everything I see, everything I do.
I can’t write, now I’m always bored.
I never used to say that word. I never was that word.
Now that’s all I am.
Bored. Blue. Ignored. Nothing new.
Everywhere I see, someone is with someone
But not me.
With friends, a spouse
Here I am sitting here alone in this house.
I have homework to do
But like I said I have no motivation.
I sit here and try to watch shows for motivation.
I can’t play, I can’t work
All I want to do is sing sad songs in the dark.
Dig me out of this pit.
Bring me something new, something to do.
Someone to talk to.
I don’t like being alone. Stuck here. Nothing.
What’s the word? Joy? It’s like being sick for a long time.
You forget what it feels like to be healthy.
I forgot what it feels like to love, to laugh, to have fun,
To be carefree, to do everything me. To sing bright songs,
To write all day long.
To talk to people without a care
To at least do something and not sit here in despair.
This is dangerous for me. This is death.