Glory or despair?

The grass grows brown
The leaves tumble down
Rose petals curl to black dust

Is it wrong what I think?
Is it wrong, what I see?
Is it wrong, how I feel when you look at me?
How would you feel, to know you are my weakness?

I’m out here, I’m outside!
So why is this so hard?
Nature! Weren’t you always my cure?
Look at this girl, can you see her?
Watch as her dark aura radiates out
Can’t you please tell me what this is all about?

I’m falling, I’m breaking, my heart is on fire
For it simply cannot perceive its own desire
Loneliness, solitude, loneliness, solitude, I don’t know anymore!

All I want to do is flee
To where no-one can see me
Somewhere I can truly be myself
Away from the expectations of everyone else

I beg you, nature, I implore!
Show me what lies through each door
I want to avoid tying myself to that which binds
For I am broken enough

Yes, I am broken! But can I heal?
Can I change the way that I feel?
The leaves, the sticks, the stones... they do not care
That such a tormented atrocity sits there.
What new form of darkness is this?
This sea of hate, this sordid mist?
How petty- to let self-loathing consume me
But there is no-one else here to see what I see.