Cruise and Smoke

My heart pounds in my ears,
my palms sweating.
They clutch the fabric of the back seat
and I wipe them on it.
I act calm and cool trying to not hear
my heart but I keep forgetting.
The girl in the passenger seat of the car
rolls a perfect joint and licks the side to seal it.
It lights and a sweet smell fills the car
with a hint of bitterness.
It gets passed to the driver,
I'm next and I'm a mess of nerves and excitement.
When it's my turn I happily take it, my hands slightly shaken.
I hold it to my lips, purse them and inhale.
I feel the smoke go down,
I hold my breath for a minute and let out.
I get a fuzzy tickle up my spine to the back of my neck,
and all over my head.
I smile and pass it back to the passenger, floaty.
It goes around like that for a bit
until all you can see is grey smoke.
All of a sudden your whole body floats,
you feel happy,
you giggle for no reason,
and all you wanna do is talk and act sillly.
I clasp my lips together and bite down on them,
I don't want to laugh and look a fool.
A couple of whispers of what supposed to be a laugh slips out,
but I keep it under control.
I stare out the windows for what seems like forever,
disconnected to the world.
My body's numb, it's cold out when we park I feel no chill.
I let out my laughs, I have no control.
Why would anyone not what to do something that made you feel this cool?