Porch Light

I'm wishing I was with you tonight,
Sitting out under your back porch light.
The place that I'm from and the place that I'm in,
Is this how it should have been?
It just goes to show you need me less than I need you,
But please baby tell me what I'm supposed to do.
The clock ticks away what's left of my heart,
Is this only the start?
If this is another test I don't know what to do,
What if I can't make it through?
How do I just stand here as I watch your silhouette fade away,
What happened to our promise to stay?
Through my tears my surroundings seem to blur,
Every step I take is completely unsure.
I'm dancing with the devil,
Can you comprehend my pain at this level?
Just baby please don't let the darkness take you from me,
This is not what we are supposed to be.
I can tell I won't make it alone,
But I'll keep pushing forward on my own.
If you need me,
You know where I'll be.
Right by your side,
I'll swallow what's left of my pride.
You're life and happiness is all that matters,
So plug your ears so you can't hear as my heart shatters.
I know you won't be gone for eternity,
But something is broken deep inside of me.
I'll refrain from those haunting crimson cuts,
And don't worry my heart won't even consider any of those sluts.
But anger is swelling in my chest,
I promise I'm trying my best.
My wrist is throbbing for relief,
And my thoughts are clutching to try and settle for belief.
Here I am writing a miserable poem,
Why? So I can show them?
Anger is clouding my thoughts,
And I want someone to take a couple lethal shots.
I can't settle for less than you,
So I know what I'm going to do.
It isn't easy trying not to self harm,
I mean I already have a scar covered arm.
But I'll be here waiting,
There's no room for debating.
I know what I need to do,
I'll be here waiting, for you.