Light

I do not get why people would dismiss someone’s experience,
No matter who is the survivor.

A rape/sexual assault/abuse survivor,
they would know first hand how painful it is
and how even more fuckin painful it is/would be
when someone straight up dismisses it.

That’s my fear. Having people dismiss it. Especially my mom.
Having my mom find out is my fear.
To me, she can (and i trust she would) engage in victim-blaming.
She finds blame in me in everything else. Why not this time?

rape jokes have always made me uncomfortable.
rape threats have always pissed me off.
rape attempt & other sexual assaults have put fear in me.

a rape incident tops them all.
especially when you’ve blamed yourself for so long.

is it my fuckin fault, mom? because i’m a puta?
you would think this is why
i’m queer, una pinche lesbiana.

I still love her though. She’s my mom.
Sacrificed a lot for a little
but for us.

I still can’t help but fear.
Dismissal.

Which is why I care a lot about my sisters and brothers who deal with this.
It is like revisiting that experience, putting salt on our wounds.
We may be healing but it keeps us from putting light on our truths.

Don’t dismiss any of us.