Buried Thoughts

I've starved myself,
For days and days on end,
I haven't slept for days,
Thoughts crept up on me,

Squeezed tight on my skul,
Haunted demons,
Sinking their teeth in my brain,
Ripping apart everything,

I lost the sense of happiness,
All magic I had before
The butterflies and sunshine,
Left and far gone,

Buried thoughts,
Resurfacing like zombies,
Sickening the present,
All the memories I'm trying to make,

Living in the now,
Is becoming increasingly hard,
Having all these weights,
Surrounding my neck,

My body littered with these scars,
These wretched, putrid reminders,
Life's unfair and decievingly depressing,
Filled with hardships and struggles,

I've been broken,
Smashed to pieces,
By heartless souls,
And felt so alone,

Left with razors, drugs, and my thoughts,
Not a person to call,
To heed my words,
I want to die,

When I had a noose around my neck,
A razor to my wrist,
To my neck,
When I cried for an hour over and over,

For when I went insane,
Trailed my fingers across pavement,
Made a face in my own blood,
All my fingers torn open at the end,

When I lost all conciousness,
And came back,
With cuts and slits,
Scattered on my stomach, arms, and legs,

When I was in my basement,
Digging my nails in my veins,
Grinding my teeth on a paperclip,
Spitting out fragments,

No one cared to stick around,
When I was so scared and upset,
So angry and depressed,
For oh so fucking long,

Now I lay here,
Older, wiser, mature,
Fighting off the memories,
All the pain I ensued,

I don't know if I'm a better man,
But I've grown stronger,
I've learned from it all,
I've become a hardened callous of insanity,

The lessons I've learned,
Will follow me in life,
Trust no one,
And rely on yourself solely,

Because everyone loves the center,
And people will try their hardest to get to the top,
They'll step on you,
And snuff you out,

Trust your gut,
Follow your head,
If it's too good to be truem
Then don't allow yourself to fall into a lie,

Love your friends half-heartedly,
They'll leave you like everyone else,
Push you aside like dirt,
And leave you to rot,

I've wasted all my days on earth,
I'm not saying I'm eager to expierence death,
It's escape from cruel reality,
To cold lifeless aftermath,
But I know can't take this much longer.