Our Eyes Are the Same

Though you tell me things
are "just fine"
and we're "alright"
the time you spend not talking to me
and keeping me up all night
is enough to drive anyone mad.

You sit and talk with HER
and I'm sitting right there
staring at the last message you
sent me and all I can do is take it--

2 hours, 12 hours, 24 hours later--
Here I am waitng on the other side
and you're STILL texting her.

I know you're missing something
something you lost long ago
but my darling I'm here and I'm real
and I'm trying to let you know.

I'm screaming, hollering, crying
and though it's shameful to admit--
If you look me in the eyes I promise
they're the same-- they fit.

It isn't easy being me,
overthinking is what I do best
but it doesn't help when you're so detached
and I keep trying to suggest
to myself that nothing's the matter...

I miss you
and it's not the happy sort of miss
it's the crying because you're not here
and I'm trying to resist the urge
to call you....

Because you're so far away
and you do your best
to try so hard
and put my heart to the test

and when you message me
and make me smile
you end it with a note
of how fully alert your head is....

and the second I feel even just a little bit special
you ruin it with your hand
making yet ANOTHER crude gesture.

Thought you were so wonderful
thought you loved me--
But the reality of all this is
you were just really horny.

And my GOD, this hurts...
to feel so objectified
even in a relationship
I'm a piece of fucking meat...

and what do I do now?
when your lusciviousness
is controlling your brain
and nothing seems real....

This pain will subside, I know it'll fade
because after today, I won't be the same