If I Leave

If I Leave--

No matter the wound
no matter the heart
i still see the wrongs
that i've done
they won't go away
there're in my head
i feel so messed up
and don't know what to do
all of these make me want to go
i might as well leave something behind
leave my words and thoughts
for everyone who i love

i dont know what to do
but i fear darkness creeps constantly
i hear my head telling me what to do
and it's never the right thing
all my faults i can't stop thinking of
i've been so stupid
and been so dumb
if i leave now
i wont have to hear anymore screams
no more lies
don't have to hurt myself
don't have to get hurt
i've been around too many lies
too much hidden
it keeps coming and coming
and i can't take this all
my head about to explode
about to drown
and about to feel the stab of a blade

so many faults i dont know what to do
and i try to hide
but they find me easily
those damn faults
keep coming back
i know what've done that isn't right
i know that it's not good
but i will learn from those
and not do them again
but it's my life, i will do what i want
they can't always tell me what to do
and not be taken advantage of
i know i'm strong, but how i show it
isn't right
still those people
those close people
they hurt me
and i've never done anything to them
to hurt them emotionaly
i won't say words that arent true
i won't say that you aren't true
so if i leave now
i can get away from everyone
get away from the liars
and maybe i can see my best friend again
she's there
she's up there
and i need her now

i know good things i've done
besides the bad
but i think the worst
and can't think of the good
but i tell everyone
that if they need a hand i'm here
i'm here to listen
here to help
i'm not a lie!
i may look innocent
i may look tough
but that doesnt mean anything
look beyond the clothes
beyound the makeup
beyound my act
and just ask for my help
deep down inside
im somewhere alive
and deep down i'm sensitive
and hates to hear the lies
but if i leave now
i won't be able to help you
i won't be able to brake down that wall
of what you feel
bring out the tears, i've got a shoulder
why is it that i can't seem to make up my mind?