Fat Mind, Bulimic Heart

Look at me,
am I not worth the perfect body?
look at me,
am I not worth to look, to feel like the girls that they show in the media?

it's because I eat isnt it?
the only thing that stops me is my whight.
nothing else just this fat, fat, fat!

I've tryed to stop eating completely,
someone called me anorxic bitch,
So I become fat again.

Now I'm taking it to the next level,
maybe one day I'll be pretty, a size zero.
I'm going to eat then push a toothbrush down my throat.

It's almost like I'm shit-faced,
pushing back up the bless of pure alcohol
expect I'm pushing up my weakness.

It's always like my brithday,
instead I'm alone having the company of the toilet seat
than cowarded with friends that don't exist
and a family that are blowing my death wish.

I'm still eating so I'm not anorixic,
I'm not holding it so I'm not obese,
I drink a lot so I don't feel weak,
I exerise so I'm not lazy,
I can't fit in my old jeans so I must be losing it,
I throw up at night so I don't intrupt them,
I throw up quietly so I don't awaken them from their sleep,
I'm small so I should be able to lose crap quicker,
I eat infront of people so I'm not implite,
I clean my room all the time so I hardly feel like eating,
I bet one day when I'm pretty every boy will want to date me,
I wear make-up to hide the fatness a little but still no boy does ever want to date me,
I'm a girl so I'm ment to be pretty,
if I'm ment to be pretty so everyone wants to be me,
if everyone want to be me I must be loved,
if I'm loved I'm must be complete,
If I'm complete I'm everything,
If I'm everything I must be perfect
I'm must be perfect.
So then can anybody please tell me my fate

Can someone please tell me:

Why I'm fat?!