I Dream of Death

Empty head
Empty heart
No one caring from the start
Mixed up feelings in my head
Never wanting to leave my bed
Twirling a knife in my hand
While a tear runs down my cheek
This pain I feel
Penetrates my shield
And makes me build high walls
Blocking out anyone that tries to help
I know I need a friend
Someone to help
But how can I trust anyone again?
How can i ever tell anyone that much again? They'd only use me like last time
Drip...
Drop...
"Help me" is now engraved in my wrist
Not that anyone would notice anyway
No one can hear my silent tears Or the screams of my heart
The knife is now dripping with vibrant red paint
Just looking at it makes me want to faint
But I've never had a problem with blood
That can't be the reason I'm about to fall
I feel so dizzy
I look down once again and notice something new
There's a blue vein exposed and bleeding through my sleeve
It's making me numb
The room starts to spin
Yet i really feel nothing
But a realization that my pain is now over makes me cling to the pain
I fight the numbness and stay calm
Pressure on my wrist only makes me more panicked
But u know that's ok if i get to have life
Finally i just lay on my arm and give up
Asleep
At peace at last
Then i wake up with a pain in my head
I guess I'll survive
Apparently I have