I Can't Remember

I can't remember how it started
The feeling of wanting to cut
But I can never forget the day it happened

Such a childish act
Using the blades from scissors
It barely even cut the skin

I can't remember when it was
That I started with a razor
But I can never forget the feelings it brought

After going through dull blades
Night after night
Until finely I got it right

I can't remember when I became
The addicted monster I once was
But I can never forget what it did to me

The feelings of wanting, craving, needing
The pain it brought when I didn't cut
It's like nothing I ever felt before

I can't remember when I stopped
Everything was like a blur
But I remember the craves I had

The razors in the box
They still taunt me and call my name
Tell me, will I ever be free?