Back and Forth

I tried to drown my sorrows but they learnt to swim,
And if I stay I'll hardly be alive, I'll be living on a whim,
Because it's only moments now before I loose control again,
Before the happiness takes over and I'm lost
The sadness is only gone for a while,
And it's the crash, the aftermath that I fear,

Paint a pretty picture in blood and broken smiles,
Paint a pretty picture even for just a while,

Maybe I'm different, maybe I'm not me,
Maybe this isn't who I'm meant to be,
When you look in the mirror, who is it you see?
Because this girl isn't me,
My reflection doesn't look back at me,

Sweet, happy, things I wish I could be,

Paint a beautiful picture, what do you see?
This demon looks an awful lot like me,

A moment ago I felt beautiful,
A moment ago I smiled,
A moment ago I was laughing for a while,

Ages ago I was happy,
Ages ago I was myself,
Now I'm a shell, filled with someone else,
In a second things will change,
In a second I'll hate the world again,
But in a moment I'll be happy,
In a moment I'll win.