Have You Ever

Have you ever laid awake at night
Wondering what you could have done to make it right?
To make him put down the blade and hide it away
Maybe he would have stayed another day

If only you were around, if only you cared
You cry out at the love that you shared
That had disappeared the day he left
He couldn't have known if you never said

Have you ever wasted precious nights
Thinking about the girl who changed your life?
For better and for worse, she changed who you are
And now you've strayed from the path much too far

Because she's everything to you
She says you don't love her but you scream you do
As much as you can ever since the night you found him on the floor
Peaceful body curled on the carpet and a note taped to the door

You really had me believing, you know
That you would be the one to reach what's below
The walls guarding my thoughts and regrets
Now I hope you live on and never forget

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep
Playing every mistake you've made on repeat?
You could have saved him, and you can still love her
You know this moment is now or never

It always turns out to be never, doesn't it?
You can't escape your mind long enough to submit
Into the words you need to say in order to save yourself
From the aching pain you hated having felt

The person staring back in your reflection isn't you; it's strange
Nothing familiar about the face or recollection of the place
You last saw it, but you know it isn't you staring back
Your knees hit the floor and you tremble in cries; "My heart is going to crack!"

Have you ever laid in bed and stared at the ceiling
Knowing it's much to late to keep your heart from leaking
Every once of tar that seeps through it only numbs you more
And you start to think you're okay again, but you fall to the floor

Feeling nothing is worse than the throbbing in your chest
And shaking with each heavy breath
Not to mention the constricting of your heart
When you think of the ways you've come apart

He tore you this way and she tore you that way
You couldn't find the words to say
To tell them you're human and you can only go far
Before your wings wither and your heart grows dark

Darling, have you ever thought of what you do to me?
Do you stop to think if you're expecting more than what can be?
Beautiful, have you ever really thought about the webs you'll be caught in?
Think about where I am and how long I have been

You can't escape the sadness of this city
The tragedies lay around every corner, God have pity
We are only people! We cannot take these burdens!
Please let the agony dissipate before my monologue ends