All of These Thoughts..

Spinning circles in my head..
Should I be alive?
Should I be dead?

The answer comes so softly..
Just a slit across my wrist..
but then another question comes..
I wonder- will I be missed?

Ofcourse this little cut won't do it..
But I could do something more..
Like put on my favorite scarf..
and stand a few feet above the floor.

No more hurt to suffer through..
To never feel abandoned again..
It's becoming clearer that losing my life..
may be the only way to win.

You see, this has to be just right..
This is my ever after..
I only have one chance at this..
One shot to become the master.

I still wonder if anyone will care..
But that question is answered with doubt..
But I guess there's no time for wondering..
It's time to finally find out.