3.13.13

Just a smile, that’s all it was
But nothing could bring me higher
Just a touch, the faintest kind
But it set my skin on fire
Just a whisper, but it was my name
Your rosy lips did speak
Just a laugh, hidden behind your hand
But it made my knees go weak
Just a gaze of emerald green
Hiding behind black hair
But the stunning beauty of it all
I couldn’t help but stare

Just a tear, rolling down your cheek
I reach to wipe it away
I’ll hold you close in my arms
Promise you I’m here to stay
Your nightmares send you reeling
I pull you to my chest
I try to calm you down
I always try my best

Just a smile, fake as they come
But only I could see
The pain hiding in those eyes
Between their lies and me
Just a line, crimson red
Hidden beneath your sleeve
A reminder of the haunted life
You can’t seem to leave

You speak often of the bridge
I hope you never go
It’s winter now and I’d hate to see
You sprawled out in the snow
You say that no one loves you
In your mind it’s true
I desperately wish to tell you
My heart beats for only you
You keep wearing your fake smile
You keep your sleeves pulled low
You fall onto your back
And make an angel in the snow
“One day I’ll have these wings
“And soar high in the sky
“I’ve always dreamt so darkly
“That maybe I could fly”
And your words are of no comfort
I simply pull you near
And pray to whatever god
That I can keep you here
But it seems that you start slipping
And are vapor in the wind
Whenever you slip through my fingers
I long to hold you again

“My best friend,” you whisper
Your head in my lap
I play with the strands of your hair
To try and close the gap
The gap, ever widening
Threating to tear you away
My one and only beloved
I just want you to stay
But I can see the storm is growing
Swirling behind green eyes
As every day you say it
That same recurring lie
“I’m fine,” you promise
Wearing your fake smile
I know you’re hurting badly
You’re just in denial
I want to kiss away your pain
Pull it from your veins
The cancer eating away at your soul
And making you steadily insane
I want to hold you up
And give you the wings to fly
If you only knew I love you
Maybe you wouldn’t want to die

Another nightmare creeping in
You’re hidden in my arms
I stroke you hair and hold you close
To keep you safe from harm
I see the days are darker
The winter air is cold
Never before have you been so meek
You’d always been so bold
But now you start to waver
As you walk the blurry line
You want to make it through
Before you’re out of time

You’re paler now, I see it
You’ve gotten way too thin
The demon in your shadows
Thinks that he can win
You’re starting to believe him
I no longer see you smile
You’re starting to fade away
You’re about to lose this trial

Every night you scream
The nightmares never break
You cry into my shoulder
As your sobs make you shake
I want to scream I love you!
At the top of my breaking voice
I want to make you believe
That there’s another choice
But always I stay silent
I want to be your hero
But wanting does nothing
When I know I’m just a zero

You’re talking less and paler still
I can clearly see your spine
Still I desperately, desperately hope
To be able to call you mine
Even through the nightmares
Even through the tears
Even through the dim light
Of all our wasted years
I love you, god, I love you
You’re the only one for me
I want to cut your chains
So you can finally be free

I walked past the bridge the other day
And saw you sprawled out in the snow
I never said I love you
So I guess you’ll never know…