inbetween

what is this place?
am i feeling joy or pain?
is this my pride or my shame,
that ladens my soul with burden?
im no longer certain,
im no longer sure,
if my intentions are entirely pure.
i roam this world,
in search of reason.
floating through different seasons,
in search of something more than agony.
my soul,
has been sentenced 25 to life
for treason.
im in the ocean,
weights on my limbs drag me down
i dont bother to scream as i drown
scars
deep and blood red
burn their hideous marks
unto the backs of my eyelids
they're all i see when i go to sleep
all i want
is to close my eyes
and see them for the rest of eternity
in a way they're beautiful
the scars that haunt me
they're alone
and solemn
and ugly
just like me
their beauty scares me
is this what im destined to be?
nothing but a hideous scar onthe arm of society?